HOO is back and happening,

Keep in touch, keep informed and connected – our intention is to grow the Parenting Community, as a force of informed change, for our children’s future.

Dr Rachel Johnson

9 May 2018

19:00 – 20:30 
Raye Freeman Library
788 Remuera Rd, Remuera, Auckland
Please RSVP to or
call Amanda of Holding Our Own on 0211257775
Limited spaces so please make sure you secure your spot

HOO – Holding our own is arranging a regular forum to join hands and unite all parents in bringing about education, camaraderie, support, unity and advocacy, so that together, we have a voice, saying loudly and proudly, that we love and support our children unconditionally.

We invite all parents, all allies, who share those ideals to strengthen our voice, as we let the world know that our children are empowered by strong support and they belong.

Holding Our Own with the support of RaninbowYouth will be hosting and launching the first of the community education and information evenings that puts you in touch directly with the “Go To ” people in our community, most sought after resources, who can guide you all, in your journey

We are proud to present Dr Rachel Johnson and her team who will speak and answer questions





Hey HOO peeps


Second last meet up for the year 1 NOVEMBER at rainbow youth

6:30 – 8pm Please RSVP

With the year drawing to a close and HOO starting 2018 with a whole new look, this is a last get together in the way we know it.

I will continue to run HOO but in a slightly new, conceptual, different way.
I will continue to take referrals and phone calls where the main focus will be on phone/Skype counselling. When necessary or on request I will meet families/Whanau, one on one, face to face when needed. I will continue to run the website and a monthly letter, the Facebook page will continue to be amazing thanks to Julia (Thank you Julia). I will then look for and host quarterly meet ups with people who are well educated, informed and able to share good info adding something of value. I will make time at these meet ups to catch up and talk personally to families. I am open to suggestions of people you would like to listen to, who to invite.
So folks this is the new look Holding Our Own – HOO – let me know what you think – always happy to collaborate.


News bits from around the world


Gay Catholics could be denied proper funerals, leaked email reveals
Benjamin Butterworth, PinkNews 25th October 2017, 6:07 PM

Leaked emails have revealed a string of shocking orders from Catholic church bosses urging priests to turn down the funerals of gay people.

The emails ask priests to consider whether the deceased was gay and if they had “repented” before dying.

It also calls for “manifest sinners” to be denied funerals to avoid “scandal” among church-goers.
The leaked set of directives urges priests to minimise “the risk of scandal and confusion” when asked to conduct the funeral service of a person in a “notorious homosexual relationship”.

It asks priests to consider, “Was the deceased or the ‘partner’ a promoter of the ‘gay’ lifestyle?” and, “Did the deceased give some signs of repentance before death?”

It also instructs that loved ones of the deceased gay person “should not have any public or prominent role at any ecclesiastical funeral rite or service”.

It adds that the grieving partner should be removed from “any liturgical booklet, prayer card, homily, sermon, talk by the priest, deacon”.

The document continues: “If the situation warrants…ecclesiastical funeral rites may be denied for manifest sinners in which public scandal of the faithful can’t be avoided.”

The emails have been attributed to Vicar General of the Catholic diocese in Madison, Wisconsin, Msgr James R Bartylla.

In a statement, the diocese’s communications director Brent King told the Huffington Post that the leaked remarks do “conform with the mind of the bishop and meet his approval,” but that it was not an official document.

LGBT activists within the church have reacted angrily – labelling the orders “shameful”.

Marianne Duddy-Burke, executive director of the Catholic LGBT group DignityUSA, said: “This document is the very antithesis of pastoral care.

“It shows that this bishop believes that lesbian and gay people who have lived a deep commitment to a spouse or partner should be demeaned even in death.

“Our families could be refused the sacraments of our faith at the moment of their greatest grief.
“This is heartless. It is cruel. It is unchristian in the extreme.”

It isn’t the first Catholic institution to propose barring gay people from proper funerals.
A Catholic Bishop in Illinois has said that same-sex spouses should be denied communion, last rites and funeral rites.
Bishop Thomas
Paprocki, who oversees the Springfield diocese, said that unless same-sex spouses repent, they should be denied the rites.

He wrote that people in same-sex marriages “should not present themselves for Holy Communion, nor should they be admitted to Holy Communion.”

Adding that anyone in a same-sex marriage who is facing death can only receive communion if they express “repentance for his or her sins.”

Paprocki also wrote that “unless they have given some signs of repentance before their death,” they should not be afforded a Catholic funeral.

Meanwhile Pope Francis claimed that acceptance of trans people would make people infertile.
The pontiff also condemned the concept of non-binary people, saying that this too somehow jeopardises the creation of life.

He accused these people of wanting to eradicate gender-associated behaviours.

“Rather than contrast negative interpretations of sexual differences … they want to cancel these differences out altogether,” he said the increased visibility of trans people was “terrible”.

Growing acceptance of trans issues was due to “ideological colonising” through textbooks financed by wealthy people and institutions in “very influential countries,” he added.


Australia’s anti-gay ex-Prime Minister to address anti-LGBT hate group
Joseph Patrick McCormick, PinkNews 24th October 2017, 9:39 PM


The former Prime Minister of Australia, who is a vocal opponent of same-sex marriage, will address a hate group.

Later this month Malcolm Turnbull, who has become the defacto voice for the campaign against marriage equality in Australia, will speak at the hate group, the Alliance Defending Freedom.

Abbott’s spokesman told the Review that he was “honoured to have been invited by the ADF” to speak at the conference.

He is expected to reiterate his position that he is strongly against same-sex marriage.
This is not the first time Abbott has addressed the ADF. He spoke in January in New York City.
In last year’s address, Abbott said that marriage was intended as “a way of dealing with human imperfection”, and as a way to “keep men more committed and less likely to abandon their wives and children.”

He added: “Not long ago, most gay activists rejected marriage as an oppressive institution. Now, they demand as their right what they recently scorned; they demand what was unimaginable in all previous times and still is in most places. They are seeking what has never been and expecting others to surrender what always has. It’s a massive ask; for me, an ask too far.”

The ADF has supported the criminalisation of gay sex, has supported the forced sterilisation of trans people in Europe and is a strong supporter of anti-LGBT religious “freedom” laws.
Abbott previously said he had been headbutted during the campaign against same-sex marriage.

Hello October

Hi all at HOO 

Lets meet on the 4th at Rainbow Youth at 6:30 – 8pm 

I am happy to be there and chat but I would appreciate an RSVP – as last month we had only one mum show up. I don’t mind if you are not up to it or don’t feel you need it but I would really appreciate a heads up. 021 127 7775  please text or call

Hope you have all had a great month and are feeling strong. 

C U There 

Hugs Amanda 

Pink News 

A group of angry mothers have launched an attack against supermarket giants ALDI because the store stocks a “transgender” book by David Walliams.

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A number of mothers have taken to social media to chastise the store over its decision to sell the short novel, The Boy in a Dress.

The book, which is Walliams’ first, tells the story of a twelve-year-old who likes to wear dresses and the reaction of his family and friends. The book, which is for eight to twelve-year-olds, aims to promote diversity and challenge gender roles.

Writing on ALDI Australias Facebook page one mother, Kathryn Woolley, said that she was “disappointed” by the decision to stock the book written by the British comedian.

She wrote: “Aldi – we are so very disappointed in your decision to stock a book within your store – relating to transgenderism in children!

“We would ask that you reconsider your choice to sell it!

“Family & children must be protected in times where there are those whose agenda is to groom & sexualise them!

“We ask you to have a conscience in this matter!”

Wooley’s post sparked a debate, with many supporting her stance.

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One person wrote: “As a loyal customer I am extremely disappointed to find that you are actively promoting a book called The Boy in the Dress by David Walham.”

A different person added: “This is disturbing. ALDI’s concern should be to sell  quality products to the customer and provide a good service (which you do).

“However you have now overstepped the line. Your role is not to propagate sexually confusing material to minors.”

Despite the transphobic comments, a number of people came to the defence of the store and celebrated the decision to stock the book.

One person wrote: “If you don’t like it, don’t buy it… but I for one think it’s great – if the “worst” my kids do is dress or behave in ways that don’t conform to gender norms I’ll be a happy mum indeed, and if these books help a child struggling with their identity find some comfort (whether it my child or yours), I think they’re worth their weight in gold…”

Another added: “I just wanted to say I’ll definitely be grabbing a copy. Keep doing what you’re doing, Aldi!”

“I rarely shop at Aldi but shall make a point of going there this week and hope I can grab a copy of this awesome book!” a third wrote.


Hi HOO peeps I am back – rested and ready!!!
Let’s kick off at RainbowYouth on the 2nd of August at 6:30 – be lovely to see you after such a long break – please join in.

In the News!

Violent assault at gay bar Family Bar on K Rd     24 Jul, 2017 1:08pm   – HERALD


James Laverty, who sometimes appears as drag queen Miss Chocolate, was seriously assaulted outside Family Bar last week. Photo / Dean Purcell NZ Herald

A man working at a gay bar has been seriously injured after he was beaten up by a man and woman last week.

James Laverty, who sometimes appears as drag queen Miss Chocolate, was working at K Rd’s Family Bar on July 16. The Herald understood he was not dressed in drag at the time.

A man and woman were refused entry to the bar and a fight took place when they would not leave the premises, Detective Senior Sergeant Nina Pedersen said.


Family Bar on K Rd where the assault occurred. Photo / Jason Dorday

Laverty then called 111 to get help from Police. While he was on the phone he was violently assaulted by the duo and suffered serious injuries to his jaw, cheek and eye socket.

He later posted to Facebook a photo of his swollen and cut face. Laverty said he was very upset and shocked with the assault. He said it would take weeks to recover and he was determined to find the culprits.

“I got hurt and not for the right reasons.

“It will take me a few weeks to recover and be able to come back to work.”

Auckland City CIB is investigating the assault.

Pedersen said they were following positive lines of inquiry and supporting the victim through this difficult time.


With the latest LGBT discriminatory move by Trump we face a world where discrimination is brazenly put out there, point blank into society and condoned by a first world leader?  It’s okay to bash a small community already on its knees.   I believe this takes giant steps backwards and it will not be easily undone or resolved, this is a human rights violation this is discrimination.   I wonder what this means for our children all standing under the LGBTQ umbrella?  My son is the G bandied about in this line of letters , a full blown human with rights and a life, is he and his friends next on Donald’s list? Do the republican, right wingers have a free pass to discriminate? Will that give every conservative person worldwide justification to discriminate and feel self-righteous about their stance?   I am hoping that the world notices the greater human rights issues being destroyed, that it notices that we will move backwards if this is followed through – I hope the world stands up and says enough! But this is about such a small minority, living a reality that few understand, a concept very difficult for conservative traditionalists to grasp, I wonder if it will be passed off as just be another Trump moment! I post the News above as a reminder we are not as warmly accepted or equal in NZ – these bashings are not new.


We need to stand against ideas and beliefs worldwide that support behaviours and actions that threaten this community  and are justified by a universal belief that LGBT is deserving of abuse!

I stand against discrimination every time – stand with me and be heard!

WoWeeeeee Its May Already!!


Hello HOO People

Yes, Yes, Yes!! Its that time of month again where we gather together in the spirit of warmly, holding ourselves and our children. Creating a space to breathe out and take a load off!

Welcome back this time it is Wowweeeeee MAY!!!! This year is galloping ahead and I hope you are all having a more balanced year.

This week I was wondering if you could find an LGBT news clipping, article, video, finding, here in NZ or world wide that made you stop and think, scratch your head, sigh deeply, smile etc.

Lets talk about it, find some way or rationalising and challenging some of these ideas.

We will meet at the Rainbow Youth Centre – bring a packet of your favourite soup! Lets get snug and chat!


11 Edinburgh St, Entrance on Abby Street


C U There

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Hello People! Can you believe it’s April??

Hi all
Time for a catch up?

Time to see how we are all doing, catch up, shoot the breeze – it is time to plan for the year ahead.


I wanted to make note: Julia Groeneweg who is running our meet ups in Wellington has been amazing on our Face Book and we have also been getting a fair bit of communication and connection through Facebook. Thanks Julia I really appreciate the help and you are way better at it than I could ever be a huge hug!.

I have found that since Pride we had a fair bit of exposure and as a result I have had a number of calls from people here, far and wide to talk and consider their positions. It is remarkable and reassuring, how many people are so supportive, so educated and so in tune with their children and all they need is a little vote of encouragement.

I am very happy to remain a life line on line for these families who are finding their own path. I am also surprised at how many would like support groups and to meet with families going through the same. I encourage them all to open a HOO near them! I hope too that our little group will expand and grow.
Our meet up this month will be Wednesday 5th April ay 6:30 at
Cafe Cezanne
296 Ponsonby Rd
09-376 3338

MARCH HARES! First meeting for 2017 Welcome HOO Peeps!

After a brilliant Pride Parade, warmly welcomed by Rainbow Youth, a wonderful support to Holding our Own. HOO had a felt proud walking with Rainbow Youth who are just awesome, THANKS RY for your support and inclusion you rock!
What a great Pride bigger, bolder, brighter and better than ever, it was great!!

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8 March
Rainbow Youth.
At 6:30 till 8pm.
It will be a great time to catch up, connect and hopefully welcome some of our new members
FYI did an interview and spoke on RNZ with some very clued in people – take a listen

(Oh the SA accent is awful – do I really sound like that???)

Raising a Transgender Child in NZ – Teresa Cowie


that is enough entertainment for now see you next week!!
Lets get cracking and welcome in new families, reconnect, catch up and just generally get together! Please let me know if I will see you there


PRIDE 2017 –

HOO logo 2Hello  Holding Our Own allies !!

Well, it is that time of year again and we are meeting to represent and support our children in the LGBTQAI community.

While our children are blessed enough to have the support they do, we recognise the ongoing journey  and need for further change both in our country and the millions more around the world who do not benefit from the nurturing, safety and acceptance we are able to share.  This march is a start to educating, to opening minds and celebrating achievements.  It is done in a spirit where carnival becomes the starting place to share ideas and connect to discuss issues.  Pride highlights the need to open conversations, reflect on differing opinions and perspectives and in a safe space hear the voices all around the world saying they will not be ignored, shoved aside or “fixed”!

Our children draw strength from our show of solidarity, our courage encourages others to reach out and stand tall for their children. We are the change that others speak about and standing as an ally is a choice that says we will not accept the discriminatory attitudes that place our children in danger, we will not accept homelessness, isolation, discrimination, depression, suicide for a lifestyle that is not a choice.

We stand together to support each other, to give our children a soft place to land when the world is cruel, to send the message that there is not only one right way, that life has many miracles and our children fit that description too.

I invite you to walk with us, as HOO represents the Parents, the whānau, siblings, friends, colleagues, the greater community that reflects the value of equality and inclusion.

We will walk with the Rainbow Youth – our greatest supporters

When: Saturday 25th Feb, 6pm – 10pm

Where: Ponsonby Road

What: Join and rep equality with HOO at  the parade down Ponsonby Rd!

We will metal the starting point from 5:30pm on. Look for RY and you will find HOO as we will walk with

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